I wish I could link to an mp3 file or a video of Janet Jackson performing the song referenced above (a classic from “Control”, which I actually prefer to her eponymous 90’s comeback “Janet”), but I know that’s pushing it. Forget Janet. Let’s talk about Dynamic Digital Advertising, and what we’ve done for you lately.

If you’re a client, chances are we’ve made your website user-friendly, searchable, and good-looking, which counts a lot for users. An outdated or difficult font can put off potential clients, although not as surely as malfunctioning shopping cart applications or dead-end links will.

Perhaps we’ve provided a spokesperson video or webcast to your site, giving it an interactive element that site visitors can’t resist. Maybe we designed fliers for an event sponsored by your company, or created a logo that’s cemented your brand in colleagues’ and clients’ minds.

If you’re not a client yet, the most we can honestly say we’ve done for you is raise the bar within the advertising industry, making our competition work as hard as we do. Well, we’ve also created some excellent advertising over the years, which you have probably seen. If you’re a person who appreciates technical skill and artistic talent within commercial applications (I’m thinking the ads of Norman Rockwell, Maxfield Parrish, and even R. Crumb), then that’s something else DDA has done for you lately.

But what more can we do for you? Pretty much whatever you want. That’s the beauty of a full service advertising agency, and the beauty of DDA.

• The prospect of writing pages of search engine optimized content on any subject gives you the same feeling as starting a crossword puzzle, Jumble, or other time-killing word games that were contraband at your old jobs—which is to say, pumped.
• You find inspiration within repetition
• You have only good things to say about everything
• You can find synonyms for everything (except the word “everything.” What’s a synonym for that?)
• You can find a euphemism for anything (or invent one)
• You love proofing other people’s work. (I do! It’s like getting to collaborate on their work, in a minor but extremely important way, because typos and grammatical errors can delegitimize any respectable project. Like that word I just made up, “delegitimize.” Only it sounds real to me, and I think spellcheck needs to check itself, because how is delegitimize illegitimate? It’s too legit to quit!)
• You find ways to incorporate the things that are stuck in your mind into your content, like album titles of obsolete rappers who wore parachute pants.
• You wish that anagrams comprised a larger part of your duties, because you can’t stop coming up with them.
• You also wish that coming up with alternative meanings for acronyms was part of the job, because you could be an industry leader were this a marketable skill. For example, DDA: Daredevils Defying Authority, Dangerous Dames Anonymous, Debriefing Defendants Affably, Ducks Depreciate Annually, Debauched Delegates Association, Dynamic Digital Advertising, Draining Deluges Anew, Dynamos Don’t Ask, Dogs Don’t Answer, Dolls Dragged Around, Donald Duck’s Avowals, Defending Dried Apricots, and so on. If your business could ever use an alternate name with the same initials, call DDA. I know I can’t be the only copywriter with this hidden (no more!) skill.

DDA has the drive to succeed, which is why they have not only survived but thrived in their fourteen years as an innovative, full-service advertising agency. Another reason for DDA’s success is that they hire the best candidates for any given position–not necessarily the most local candidates. The parking lot is always filled with employee cars (with a few spaces left for clients, of course).

You won’t find my car in the company parking lot, because it’s a black IROC-Z with tinted windows that exists only in my mind. My actual car is Rob’s. Rob is an animator here, who lives down the street from me; we carpool together every morning and evening. Before I started getting rides with Rob, my car was a SEPTA bus that took me on a scenic tour of the Great Northeast before we went through the various suburbs of Bucks County. The ride gave me lots of time to think of new and different ways to write search engine optimized content, and to compare the advertising I saw on billboards and fellow buses with the print advertising we do at DDA. Needless to say, I usually saw design flaws that DDA could have fixed in a second, or slogans that could have been less awkward. I also saw some that were pretty good, of course, but I never saw anything better than what we’ve done in the past and continue to do.

Why do I ride with a co-worker/ the good people of Philadelphia? Because I can’t drive. I have metaphorical “drive”: I got through high school and college like a champ, and have been working most of that time. Like the rest of DDA, I work hard at a job I do well, and take pride in the finished product. Unlike the rest of DDA, I have to use bizarre forms of ID to get into bars, and rely on public transportation to get places that are over a mile away. I’m learning to drive this year, though; my cousin’s going to teach me. I hope you’ll be there (client, potential client, or casual reader) the day I debut my sweet, sweet ride. You could probably take a test drive if I’m feeling nice (which I usually am). It’s just another reason to take your business to DDA.