Toastercide

Today one of the under appreciated DDA appliances committed suicide. Maybe suicide is too strong a word. One of our toasters spontaneously decided to spark and burn, causing the kitchen to smell like burnt rubber. Perhaps it just wanted attention. With a stench like that permeating throughout the rooms of DDA, our attention has been peaked. Some of the unlucky ones roomed closest to the kitchen were forced to keep their doors closed until the stink aired out a bit more.

I was fond of that toaster. It burnt many of my bagels until I was finally able to adjust the setting perfectly. From working together so long, I knew it preferred I cut my cheddar bagel a little unevenly; the bottom half had to be slightly larger than the top, or the cheese would burn badly and taste horrible.

You helped the process nourishing all of us by providing toasty breakfasts that gave us energy in the morning. Without you, I might not have been able to focus properly on my morning print or web design projects. Judy may not have been able to create such amazing logo and brochure designs early in the day. You helped satisfy the hunger needs of our programmers, video technicians and writers.

If you were still conscious after you burned, you might have been alarmed at Rob taking you on the dreaded ‘walk’ outside. Perhaps you shed bread crumb tears of sadness as you sat by the trash can. You must have been very confused and relieved when David carried you back into the kitchen. Now you seem to be retiring on top of the refrigerator, maybe never to be used again.

Although DDA may remember you as the stinky toaster, I will always remember you as my toaster friend; one who no longer scorched my bagels.