The Worst Tour Ever

One of the most fun things we did in Sweden was take a walking tour, led by a very funny American-turned-Swedish actor, who was dressed up in a Viking outfit. Before I continue with the story, I’ll state that he told us Vikings would never be caught wearing those silly horns unless they were dead (at a funeral ceremony). Since that tour was so much fun, we were eager to take another walking tour. But twice when we arrived at the designated place, the person leading it was sick. So, hesitantly, we decided to take a city bus tour, since it was right there. We liked that the bus was a double decker, and thought we’d get a good vantage point on the city. We hoped to learn a bit more history and more about the architecture of Stockholm. We climbed up to the top level of the bus, put on our headsets, and listened to a brief introduction. After that, ABBA blasted into the headphones while we patiently waited for the crossing of the guard, and then again because of traffic. I love ABBA, but it was annoying to have to adjust the music very low, and then the recorded guide voice very high every time they switched. I was also annoyed that there was no additional tour speaking while we were waiting, since we were going to be spending 1.5 precious vacation hours on this ride. As the tour went on, we became increasingly disappointed in the quality of the tour. We were told boring facts, for example, “it’s speculated that there are 25,000 private boats moored on Sweden’s harbors.” Eager for some sort of juicy fact about the nobility or Swedes of past, a haunting story about the ancient church, why we only saw small dogs as pets, a secret potato recipe, what the Swedish drink Aquavit is made from, or maybe an authentic yodel.  We were fighting off jet lag and the gentle humming of the bus and boring commentary was putting us to sleep, so in an effort to stay awake we settled for amusing ourselves at the speaker’s voice modulations. It was particularly funny when he said the trees are many MANY years old … his emphasis was so alarming we burst out laughing. Desperate to extract something from the tour, we listed the few interesting facts we learned: Alfred Nobel planted one tree of every kind that grows in Sweden in his park, one of the archipelago islands was used for a jail and it’s now a hostel, and a few more things. We made up our own spiel, trying to imitate the boring style, discussing how many bricks it took to build a building, bragging about how amazing Sweden is but not revealing anything about it. We decided if we ever move to Sweden, we would be guaranteed a very, VERY successful and lucrative career providing more interesting bus tours.

So, my point in this diatribe? Content is as important than the vehicle. At DDA, we emphasize that web page content is important for ranking, but we don’t just throw up pages to meet the keyword quota; our talented writers create interesting and relevant content. So, once a visitor arrives at a page, they’ll be more likely to stay there and read more, and to click through other pages. DDA calls this website visitor conversion, and our website development process includes implementing conversion goal strategies tracked by metric analysis to achieve longer visitor times for website visitor conversion. In short, DDA wants to make sure every website visitor has an great tour!